Speak out about male violence against women
Today, I spoke out about male violence against women.
It was particularly difficult because it was about emotional violence directed at me. The perpetrator is someone who has since arrived on the queer anarchist scene, that is, in space that previously was especially safe for me.
I told two of my friends over the last two weeks. They supported me so well - listening, encouraging, checking in. I found it really helpful to have people around me, whose opinions I respect, remind me I’m of value.
Last week, I didn’t go to the regular group meeting because I didn’t want to be in the same space as him. (Only for him to turn up unexpectedly in public space I feel some ownership towards).
This week, I dithered and fretted before steeling myself for the discomfort of seeing him at the meeting… and he wasn’t there. Instead, six of us had a brilliant meeting and I even expressed a lot of my concerns and worries to fellow comrades there.
Last year, at Feminism in London, I pledged to never remain silent about violence against women because I was so moved by the stories and stastics. I was mainly thinking about the violence I’ve survived because mostly my default is to pretend it never happened.
It did happen and survivors are never to blame. The perpetrators were at fault, not me.
Jun 10, 2010 @ 11:55 pm
